Christmas Eve evening

Hi everyone. Just wanted to say that I hope that everyone is having a great Christmas Eve. Our day was alright. It was nice outside so the kids were outside about 1/2 the day or so. I talked to my mom a few times today/tonight and she said that she got each of the kids a bike so they will be coming by sometime tomorrow either before or after going to my aunt's house for Christmas dinner. My mom lives 4 or so hours away and they only come down basically at holiday times and maybe 2-3 times during the year for whatever reasons but not that much. My aunt lives about an hour from us, with no car we don't see them that much and don't talk on the phone that much either. Were not that close. Back in the day when we all lived in the same town we would all get together at my grandma's house for Thanksgiving and for Christmas. We would go over there for Christmas Eve and open presents and then wake up Christmas morning they had stockings and later around noon eat a meal. But ever since Grandpa passed away about 8 years or so ago and ever since then it just hasn't been the same. Ever since then I just don't care to really be around the family that much. We had moved to TX right after that then came back and we started doing our own thing for the holidays and grandma and my aunts and everyone that used to live in the same town that we moved out of, moved off right after we did so when we came back, we came back to no one and have been doing our own thing since. My mom said what are ya'll doing for Christmas and I said staying home and doing our own thing and my mom said we never made you stay home and doing our own thing, we always went to grandma's and I said yea I know but we like doing it our way now. I guess shes getting older and maybe realizing that with all the rest of the family there but not her daughter and grandkids it feels different or something I don't know. Anyway, I am just the "black sheep of the family" anyway so I don't know what the big deal is. We have spent the past few years to ourselves and shes now saying that she wants us to be there with the rest of the family, but anyway were not going to go there b/c 1. we don't have a car to drive the hour there and 2. I am just NOT in the holiday mood as it is and definately NOT in the mood to put up with the family BS that comes along with the family gathering! And believe me my family has tons of BS that always seems to come up just at the best of times!!! So they are supposed to be calling back sometime tonight to let us know if they are coming before or after they go to my aunt's house. I am hoping somewhat that they come before going there so that they will be in a hurry so to speak b/c they are always running late no matter what they are doing or going they are always late. So that way they couldn't stay here that long and chat up a storm about whatever omes to mind and just give the kids the bikes and be on there way. On the other hand, I don't like being a "morning" person and being all nice etc if I haven't had my morning blog time and my time to vent and have my soda or my tea or cool aid..gotta have a nice drink of something and get refreshed and ready and in the mood so to speak for company...we don't have company that much and I like it that way for the most part! Well lets just say I like it when its NOT family...anyway theres pros and cons to both. Then not to mention that our heating unit isn't working so it gets chilly in the evening and I don't want them here when it starts getting chilly and we have to take out the electric heater to warm up the rooms. Its been pretty nice for the past few nights though and during the past couple of days yesterday and today the kids enjoyed going out and playing. So it was comfortable in the house. Our oven went out and were down to 1 burner now!! Its an electric stove and I don't know why in the world that the burners are going out but they are and the stove isn't that old! One of the burners went out then a couple of weeks or so later the other two went out and at the same blessed time like one in the morning and the other in the evening! Then the other day we saw sparks come up in the bottom of the oven and the next thing you know it won't cook! So there goes Christmas Dinner!! Good thing that we have a little toaster oven to cook in and we have a ham that were eating for dinner anyway so that can be heated up on our stove on the one burner. I am hoping that it doesn't go out anytime soon b/c that would just suck! It sucks as it is having just one burner and a little toaster oven, it does the trick but dang one burner trying to cook a big meal...ain't gonna happen! There goes cooking cakes or anything! I can't wait til we freaking MOVE out of here!!!! The windows get broke (not our fault) then the central heat doesn't work right and has black stuff up there in the attack thing that isn't good so we can't have the heater on b/c it has carbon monoxide or whatever and then the thing with the stove...YIKES! Is it tax time yet?? I need to get out of here, its falling apart! Not to mention that I just don't like it here anymore, I don't feel safe. I felt safer in the little town that we moved out of and there we had a shooting 2 houses down from us! I can't wait until we get the tax money, look for a house, well first a car, buy it, then look for a house and move and get settled. We want to move to a town that has about half of the population that this city has now. I think that it will be better. I read in the paper today that they had a Meth explosion here in town yesterday!!! In someone's backyard in a storage building they had stored soemthing to make Meth with and it exploded!! Where it happened, wasn't to far from my son's school!!! I don't like that and also the fact that they had to evacuate the area b/c of the things that exploded, the chemicals were so freaking high that it went off of there meausring thing! GOOD LORD!!!! So this town just isn't as nice and calm or whateer as I had thought and hoped. I hadn't heard about things like this even in Dallas where we lived years ago!! So when we move, I hope that I find a good descent place where it looks good and I hope that it stays that way!!! Looks can be decieving b/c I looked here and its a nice home and a nice street, when we first moved in almost a year ago and now it seems like in the past 1-2 months its just been going down hill fast!! So I am hoping that when I pick it that it will be in a good descent nieghborhood and will look good/descent. I am usually pretty good with picking out houses but this one, just don't know why the people around here are going bad, or was bad and was just hiding it really really good!! Either way it goes, were getting out of here and I am glad that we will eventually and that were going to move where I can go and be comfortable and have my friends to visit with and see them now and then, that will be a change and a nice one at that. I can't wait. I think that having not only my friends around but other adults around to talk to will make me feel better. I haven't been myself and I haven't figured out why yet and so I am thinking maybe one reason is being stuck in the house basically 24/7's which most times, I don't really mind but then again I would like to be able and go out and over to someone's house and just say hi and visit even for an hour or vice versa, have someone come over to my house. I would like the company. So I think maybe with other adult company and conversation in person it will help me some..hopefully. The down side of course is that we will be closer to my mom which has its good and bad points to it. The kids will be closer to her, which well if she wants to spend more time with them or if she wants to drill them for info which she has a tendacy of doing when she wants to..more often then just spending time with her. Anyway, the point is we will be closer lets see how she acts with them or should I say acts towards them when were closer yet again. Before when we lived 10-15 mins from them, we didn't see them that much either. She came over a couple of times, wore out her welcome and left!! I have grown up since then and I am thinking that shes getting older and wanting to spend time with them more if she could and not be a bad mouthed talker to them about me like she has been in the past. My kids are loved and cared for and taken care of and as long as I know that then she should but out and not put me down to them b/c 3/4 of the time they come running back to me saying grandma told us this and this..blah blah blah... I guess I have gone on enough in this blog, time to start another one, I got in one of my "blog writing on and on" moods and just couldn't stop...anyway I hope that you all have a great evening and great Christmas Day tomorrow...hugs


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