#BehindTheBlogger - It Was The Worst Of TImes
What a great quote that a great man once said and stuck with us... "It was the Best of Times, It was the Worst of Times" In this series of #BehindTheBlogger I'm going to refer to the 2nd part of that phrase.
I believe that for me "it was the worse of times" refers to about 2 years ago back at the end of Aug. Back then my husband and I was separated, my oldest son was on his own and away from me, my daughter was with her father and not with me and I had my middle son and my youngest with me. Also during that time someone damaged the bumper on my car and someone let out my baby girl Bunnie who didn't go outside on her own and for that she disappeared and has been gone ever since.
It was pretty overwhelming having so much go on at once. For one thing, I had NEVER been away from my kids (even though they were still teens then/young adults) I still hadn't been away from them for more than 3-4 days at once. So only having 2 of them with me was a change...not a good one at first. Especially being that my only daughter wasn't with me and we were so close but, she had to do what she needed to do or thought that she needed to do in her life and that was her choice. Along with my oldest who also went and spread his wings on his own with his friends as well during that time. And then someone damaging my car which had absolutely NO scratches/dings/dents NOTHING on it and then all of a sudden my bumper had deep marks in it like someone had taken a knife and marked it up!!! Not just one little spot but all the way across my bumper!! Yes its just a materialistic thing but, I treasure my car, I take care of my things and especially that car that I just got back in Feb of that year and it was perfect and shiny no dings and so proud of it and then that and then 2 days later my precious baby girl Bunnie up and disappeared out of the house! And yes she was an animal but not only that, she was my baby, she was more than just a "pet" she was my baby girl!! She was family and had been with us since she was just a couple of months old and she was helping me cope with my daughter and other son not being around and then she goes missing. It was a LOT to take on and I know that it was alot for the kids as well even if they were teens, its still tough to go through with part of your family with you and the other part not and to not have your own place, that was tough as well.
But, as time went on, the family started growing stronger, just didn't know it or realize it until the beginning of the next year. We are still working on things but I'm happy to say that storms don't last forever...and I have my own place now along with 2 of my sons. My other 2, they are living their lives as they see fit for them which I get and understand but, the mom in me comes out every day and night and worries about both of them! But I know that they have to live and learn.
You have to live a little and do what you think you need too even if others think its wrong or whatever, you have to do what you need too. You live and learn. Learn from mistakes, learn from falling and learn who is really there for you both family and friends. I've learned some things just during the past couple of months and I never thought that things would of turned out or well ended rather the way that they have/did with one of my long time best friends that I once referred too as a sister. But you can only take so much and once you've had you're fill you just either let it go or it comes out with a vengeance! You have to respect friends that help you and I always have but, that shouldn't mean that you have to put up with them talking about you and others in a negative way and behind your back in the house where you can hear yet to your face they act as if you didn't hear a word! I don't like that!! I don't appreciate that and I don't do it to others so I don't want it done to me! And that's exactly what she did trying to be so slick yet she's not and all while putting everyone down in front of me and yet being nice to my face while saying opposite things to my sons! Like they weren't going to come and tell me?? Seriously?! I heard some and other things they were told by her and they filled me in. I don't go for drama, never have and never will!! I don't see the point in it! If you have something to say to me, say it to MY FACE and if you don't or can't do that then shut up and keep it to yourself! That's just a pet peeve of mine that I have taken on while growing up and while staying in someone else's house I respected her didn't talk down on her and yet I get stabbed in the back! So nice of her....what's that saying...Keep your friends close and your enemies closer..yea that's what I was doing apparently without knowing and realizing it!
Anything that I have to say to someone I say to them first and foremost I don't go vent somewhere else first. She knows my feelings towards her, I feel for her! She wished me to have surgery and get sick and all of these bad things while I on the other hand wished her the best as I always have...Hard to take in things sometimes but, it is what it is and that is her choice to be so mean spirited and think that way to one of her I thought was best friends/sisters...that's something that she has to deal with, as for me, I'm over it. I still wish her the best even though both her and my middle son that stayed behind with her have tried to contact me just to tell me a bunch of BS while I just blow them off and let them say whatever and that's the end I refuse to continue the game back and forth. Really, we are both 42 so what is the point? We aren't in high school anymore! Stand up for yourself!!
With all that being said, point really being that if it hadn't been for the worst of times when I went to go stay with her for all that time, I wouldn't of really of known what her true personality was and wouldn't of been around to see her true colors. It made me stronger in the end because even though she was one of the ones saying "she can't do it on her own!!" And saying "No one will rent to her blah blah blah" Don't tell me that I won't or I can't because if you do, then you can Guarantee that I WILL do those things!! And I did and proved her and others wrong!! Not only do I have my own place, I am continuing to pay my own bills, continuing to pay for my own car and continuing to work at home out of my home office, something else she kept saying that I wasn't going to do!! Just because she couldn't do it because she didn't get the concept of "actually working from home" she is jealous of the fact that I actually do work and make my living from working out of my home office as others do. Some can handle it and others can't, its not for everyone. Not by any means saying you or anyone else can't do it, it just takes a lot of determination and other things to keep it together and work out of your home.
Which if any of you are wanting to work at home (not selling/no products etc) you can contact me or at least check out my page on Working at home and see what I'm talking about.
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This ... "You have to live a little and do what you think you need too even if others think its wrong or whatever, you have to do what you need too."
ReplyDeleteThis stuck out to me the most because I agree 100% even if we do not necessarily agree, or understand what or why others do what they do, we each have our own path.
Thanks for sharing your story with me, and the world.
Much love
Hi Joely, thank you for the comment. Yes we do have our own path and no one understands what we are going through, everyone is so different in every way going through their own things...thank you for commenting, I appreciate it :)
ReplyDeleteWe mothers will always see our children as our babies. They grow and move on but stay the same in our eyes. That's one of the wonderful parts of motherhood, that we can bring something into the world and see it grow and develop. It is a true miracle.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your story Lisa. I think you're right, you need to live your life for you, not for anyone else. Most people don't agree with what I do, but if it's something that makes me happy then why the heck not? You come out stronger when you put yourself first.
ReplyDeleteHugs!
You do have to do what you have to do... Sometimes just getting up and getting through the day is enough. People do not have to agree with your decisions, because they are yours. You are the one to make them and then the one to make them work.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this week.